5 Things That Changed My Marriage
My husband, Daniel, and I have been married for four years. I don’t know if that disqualifies us as newly weds, but I still have those brand-new-love butterflies in my belly when he smiles.
Married life has been an incredible blessing but it didn’t come with the promise of it being easy. After all, when we get married we have to navigate a new life alongside another sin-natured human! But I believe wholeheartedly that you can learn to have a successful marriage.
After much trial and error, I want to share the 5 things that have truly changed my marriage:
Being quick to listen and slow to speak
I have been known to allow my quick wit to get me into trouble. Before I could stop it, my mouth would open and out came something I would immediately regret. My learning to actually listen and wait to respond has saved Daniel and I from many an argument. The same goes for watching not only what I say, but how I say it. No one wants to be talked down to, or treated like a child. Condescension gets you no where, but a loving tone will be taken to heart.
Praying with my husband, asking him about his prayer needs and telling him mine
I can’t think of a better way to strengthen a marriage than to seek God together. It has given us a more intimate connection and caused us to be more sensitive to each others needs. We know when something is “wrong” with one another and never have to guess and risk miscommunication. I love knowing I can go to my husband when there is a burden on my heart and he will pray with me and for me. I am reminded that Daniel is on my side in this life, and the closer we get to God, the closer we get to each other.
Allowing my husband to lead
Sometimes I think I know best: I know what’s best for me, my kids, my husband, and anyone else that comes along! Occasionally, however, I’m wrong. I can admit it! I often think with my heart and let my emotions guide my decision-making. Daniel is calm, cool, and rational. He considers every foreseeable outcome. He is not only level-headed, but most importantly, he is the God-ordained leader of our family. I know God wants me to submit to and respect Daniel, and I know my husband loves me as Jesus loves the church. I can trust him to lead our family in the direction he feels God is leading. No matter how I feel about something, I know my husband will always make a decision for our family after much prayer and direction from the Lord.
Changing my attitude
I have prayed for God to change my husband, “Lord, just let him see it from my point-of-view”. But it never felt right, almost as though God wasn’t listening. So, I realized what I needed to pray instead was for Him to change me. Change my heart. Make sure I was tender towards my husbands thoughts and feelings. And something happened. I became more generous, more forgiving, kinder. We communicated effectively and lovingly. We solved problems together instead of each of us just trying to be right. Changing my attitude changed my marriage. Changing my attitude changed my marriage. #marriage #happilymarried Click To Tweet
Daniel and I are both adamant about spending time together, just the two of us. We include one another in our personal hobbies and interests. And try every day to carve out time just to be together. We talk about our day and what’s coming up in our schedules. We also hug, A LOT! And we still flirt just like when we were dating. I will meet him for lunch to encourage him through his work day while the kids are in school, and he makes it a point to call me as often as he can. All of these small things add up to create a bigger picture. Being intentional keeps us connected.
My husband and I would not claim to have a perfect marriage – there is no such thing! But we have found that little things make all the difference. We have committed our marriage to the Lord and asked Him to bless it. And He has! We have both been blessed with more than we deserve.
And the more we seek God, the more and the better, we can love each other.