Inspiration, Marriage

The Innocent Way You Are Compromising Your Marriage

I would have never guessed that getting a quote for home internet would have any significant impact on my day, much less my marriage. Even the customer service representative at Hughes Net kept telling me, “it’s just internet, it’s not a big deal”. However, it felt very much like a big deal.

You see, I was only calling for a quote. Not to be pressured into setting up a time and date to have someone come to my house to install a satellite. And no matter how many times I told the representative I needed to discuss the financial details with my husband before I scheduled, she continued to push me. Over and over she tried to assure me that it was “only internet”. I even went as far as to explain why it was more than just internet to me; my husband is the head of my household. God placed him there and I respect that. A little thing like ordering an internet package without consulting my husband first may seem like no big deal to most people – but the tugging on my conscience told me otherwise. And as I found myself arguing with the lady on the other end of the phone, I began to wonder; just how much and how often am I compromising?

What areas of my life am I writing off as no big deal?

The Innocent Way You Are Compromising Your Marriage. | aliciajones.com

 

My marriage is sacred to me. I protect it at all cost. I know my husband loves me just as Christ loves the church, (Ephesians 5:25) and I joyfully and respectfully submit to him as the church submits to Christ (Ephesians 5:24). When my husband, Daniel, and I got married, I knew that I loved him. But, it wasn’t until I also started chasing after God’s heart that He showed me how to love Daniel. I believe the bible states very plainly that we, as wives, are to respect our husbands because respect is a man’s ‘love language’: the verbal and non-verbal way we express and feel love in our various relationships. Sure, every man is different and responds to their individual love language, but universally, they all need respect.

Caring enough to discuss with my husband what’s going on in our household shows respectCaring enough to discuss with my husband what’s going on in our household shows respect. Click To Tweet

Witnessing friends’ marriages fail and having made my own detrimental marital mistakes, I’ve found that being thoughtless in the small choices, little white lies, and lying by omission, all lead to compromising when it comes to bigger issues. Maybe going to have lunch with a male friend was never something you would even consider; now you find yourself doing so and not mentioning it to your husband. All these seemingly insignificant choices add up. And they can start you down a path to neglecting the grass in your own yard, thereby making the grass on the other side of the fence appear that much greener.

You may think I’m overreacting, and that it really was just internet. And that’s okay. But to me, it was about principal. In reality my husband probably prefers that I handle our internet situation, but I don’t make a habit of ‘asking forgiveness, not permission’. Caring enough to discuss with my husband what’s going on in our household shows respect. And I know that makes him feel loved.

In Christ alone,

www.aliciajones.com

What do you think? Was I overreacting? Have you ever been in a situation that caused you to compromise your marriage? Leave me a comment or shoot me an email and let me know. 

 

 

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5 Comments

  1. Lauren Black

    June 10, 2016 at 12:59 pm

    This holds so much truth! There’s a reason guardrails are set back from the edge of danger… because our boundaries should be as FAR from danger as possible, so we don’t easily slip off. Setting boundaries like this in your marriage will protect you from sliding into temptation and sin.

    1. Alicia Jones

      June 13, 2016 at 6:25 pm

      Absolutely! The small things add up to BIG problems if you don’t get a handle on them immediately!

  2. Emily

    June 14, 2016 at 3:42 pm

    I have only been married a year and 10 months, but I have found this proven true daily for my husband and I. Such a beautiful simple concept that gets lost in our day to day lives. Thank you for the reminder. Living a life of freedom in Christ will always require a daily effort. For we are sinners and have the evil spirit of Satan working against us at all times. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm (Eph. 6: 13)

    1. Alicia Jones

      June 20, 2016 at 4:59 pm

      Praying blessings upon your marriage, Emily! You’re right – living with another sinner while combating the busyness of life and trying to protect your vows can be a challenge. I’m so encouraged however, to see you using the arsenal that is the full armor of God!

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